dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
