I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
