Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
