The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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