i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
