i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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