Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
