this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
