i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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