he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
