It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
