I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
