felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
