somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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