So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
