Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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