Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You ate ashes out of my bong
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
