Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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