My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
