is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
