I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Actions speak louder than pants.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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