just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
