I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
FUCK WHALES
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