They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
