Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
