...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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