I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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