we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
