ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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