You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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