Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
