my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
