You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
