Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
