We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
