The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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