that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
