Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
