you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
