take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
