I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
