I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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