I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
