Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
