no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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