It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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