she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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