I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
