The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
