YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
