I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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